Made muffins today. they looked weird, but tasted pretty good. oh well, Im missing my baby so fucking much. roar, but at least now im doing everything i promised that i would do & putting in my all for him. He's the reason why i wanna continue. I just hope i make him proud of me. cause i sure am proud of him. Somethings wrong with my inner organs. Im not sure what. but it gets harder to breath at night and it really hurts. oh well. I guess another trip to the doctor? somethings so not right with me but i just cant figure out what. (ps, im not emo my internal organs are really hurting me.)
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Sunday, July 29, 2007
On saturday went to jb with family got some new stuff but im particularly happy with the new pair of mary jane's that i bought they are so comfy! :D oh & got to have yummy yummy dunkin dounuts. best [:
Anyway ive been missing my honey so badly and today he was online cause he was at zul's house. im so happy hehe its cute talking to him online feels like a long distance relationship cute cute. but i cant wait till we meet. feels like forever despite we meeting on thursday. maybe cause we dont sms or something but that ist a problem. just missing him trucklots hehe. oh & yes i shall quote him while we were onlining. & he said "lets get mushy" :D aww. i just melted when he said that grrr. i miss that amazing boy.
Today meet nick & syikin random for makan & studies. best best i studied for enzymes already for bio test yey. tmr. i seriously need hardcore studying. only 9 days. wow. 9 days...wow... & omg bad news mike going to NS 15 october. OMGGGG. mike & i must have one majour birthday bash before he goes sia. omg one by one they all going NS. SEDIH NYEEEEE. :x anyway here are pictures
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Friday, July 27, 2007
Todays post is gonna be pretty long & boring but if your interested go ahead & read. if not i suggest you move to someone else's blog oh & yes another thing i have to clarrify, my blog is about my personal life. If you dont like what i post & feel as though i'm showing off about my friends family life and boyfriend guess what. Firstly your right, i DO enjoy showing off how happy i am with my life unlike you sad pathetic rich emo kids. secondly, if you dont enjoy reading my daily rants simple. just dont read it. seeesh is it that hard?
Yesterday, after school went out to meet sayang went to go look for his laptop we saw a few good ones & he's gonna get it by next month. i cant wait!! Cause then i can chat with him & give him lame comments to sattisfy my boy :D
After looking at laptops we took 65 back to tampines & went to buy food from the pasar malam, sedap lurhs!! Thanks syg for introducing me these foods because im such a kental girl & wouldt try new food ahahah! {: we decided to go to the airport to eat there since its been a while since we went there. It was nice but i kept on sneezing nonstop! omg i had a really bad cold luh ): syg didt mind me sneezing but i could tell that many other people were really annoyed. oh well :D
we wanted to use my laptop at changi mac's but it didt work dammit dammit. so we headed back to tampines mac's to use (: huahua kentalans. After that he sent me home. I hate goodbyes but i love how he says goodbye to me its somehow comforting its like that smile that makes me know that it wouldt be long till we meet but i really did want to spend more time with him roar he's my addiction luh. Oh well i cant wait till we meet again. ♥
Tomorrow im going JB with family just remembered. hopefully can get new stuff there (: NEW BLOG SONG :D its old but oh heck its sweet & it reminds me of him & his sweet love. oh & i hope i would stop sneezing soon its really bugging me roar! ): I LOVE U SAYANG! ♥ *muacks*
i never taught we'd last this long but it seems to me that boy maybe we were made for each other
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Monday, July 23, 2007
Today on the way to school, i felt really tired and weak for some apparent reason. shit. i need to start eating right.seriously anyway time passes by so quickly & now i kindda realise that ive got less then 2 weeks till prelims Great. I am so not ready! Some one give me some sort of motivation! Or at least some tips on how you get started on studying cause i get stuck & blur and then start to stone when i eventually do want to study! grrr! :[ this is fustrating ): ANYWAY. nikita wants a new myspace banner. HAHA anyone willing to do for nikita while they are bored? I love nick cause she helped me out with my new layout & i think its hella perfect! :D thanks nick nick! :D anyway im gonna shower & force myself to study i need it badly if i want to have a good christmas. BAH! this is death saying hello to me if i fail my Nlevels! HAHA :D dont steal my icons! grrr. ]:
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Sunday, July 22, 2007
On friday i had my fingers crossed the whole day that i would get the chance to talk things out with him. I prayed in my mind that god would work something out for me. & he did. cause before i slept he sent me a hopeful sms asking me if there was any chance of us talking, in my heart i cried a loud cheer knowing that this was my chance. The next day went perfectly well, he gave me that smile that went lost for a while and it made my whole day better. he held me tight & told me it'd be alright and i knew deep inside i had to hold on cause i knew other guys wouldt be as fine as this boy and if i had lost him it wouldt even matter anymore. This girl was finally giving her geniune smile and that boy was finally giving his too. At the end the fireworks made it a whole lot extra special (: & i have someone to thank for if not this wouldt have even happened. i love you ahmad fazli & i dont give a damn about what people say anymore. cause its just me & you boy. no one else. (: saya cinta pada kamu!
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Thursday, July 19, 2007
yesterday after the long dreaded phone conversation i felt so crushed. so helpless. what could i have done to make the pain less painful? I know it had hurt him more then it had hurt me. After all that he's been going through. I felt like i wast good enough for him. that maybe what everyone had said was true. i felt so weak & heartbroken and soon i fell into a short yet deep sleep when i woke, i could still feel his pain in my heart it was as though i could read his every trace of though despite him not being next to me. i cried in the shower as the tears ran wild along with the purity of the tap water. in school i stayed in silence i tried to smile for a few but only knew that deep inside i was bruised. i wanted to go home as quickly as i could. hide myself probably from this truth. but no matter how much i hid under my blanket. the screams of how we we're no match filled my heart with insanity. i took a moment to write my confidence down on paper. knowing each line that i wrote seemed to be harder. in that paper i told myself i had to be strong. for myself. for you. for our love to carry on. i told myself to stay positive. this was just a phase. like any couple would have been in. Nearing the end of that powerful peice of paper i had writen in bold letters. i would never give up on our love, for anyone's happiness for that matter. I hate to see you beat yourself so much about this. it kills me to see you sad and think your not good enough for me. you know your worth everything to me. and i can now proudly say that I dont care what anyone else would say. I love you and thats all that would remain.
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
yesterday went to meet syg to lepak for a while. it was nice just sitting down and talking about random stuff about life, about love about mostly anything to everything. I love how it feels like to stare into his eyes and just fall madly in love with him all over again. I love you so much syg. Anyway, i told mummy today. on how old he truely really is. Like most parents. she jumped to conclusion made assumptions. and became a typical sterotype. but after much persuasion, she decided to give me & sonny a chance. provided. she had a long talk with him. this is going to be interesting. And i miss him lots now but syg if you do read this. just remember what i said.
if i have to give up on us it would't be for anyone it'd be for the happines of the both of us. I wouldt want to give up on anything as perfect as this. This would sound crazy to a few. but boy. you made my heart grew by caring for my delicate heart like it was yours too. Thank you for loving me the way you do.
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
On sunday i went out with syg to watch harry potter at cathay :D it was niceeee but we missed the biggining cause we were fashionably late :P hehe. Anyway i still prefered the previous show. this one's okay not as bad as i thought it'd be i somehow wished the kiss for harry & chowchang was much more...exciting? haha anyway yesterday went random shopping with maria tried to cheer her up oh well at least we ate subway :D COOKIE. :D yeah. subway cookies are way nicer then famous amos. Today im going airport with syg to lepak. :D woooot. gonna show now byee ♥
ps, 3 weeks & a half till prelims. omfg. Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Thursday, July 12, 2007
okay, today i went home early from school apparently i have something wrong with my cramps thingy (its a girl thing) so yeah mummy fetched me from school, so tmr ive got an appointment at GH to meet mummy's gainicologist. so yeahh, thats gonna be my friday night. Anyway, i've been trying to think positivly. Its working a little, needs alot of work still though. I hope i do work this out on my own oh & that call meant so much to me hehe {: i love you so so so much sweetcheeks as long as we're happy i'll hold on for life.
New blog song. hear it. it cheers you up real fast maybe its the whistling. its cute :D oh and i have decided to avoide a) sappy sad songs b) emo songs c) hardcore songs for a while. just a while till i get my mood swing thing cleared. i kindda notice my mood changes real quick when i listen to music. okay wow. i didt know that & here are photo's from tuesday enjoy! :D
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
despite the long silence the warmth of your body it melts my heart i keep remenising of the past, my icey fears is tears us apart maybe i'm to be blamed for my insanity its a fight between machinery and a human being its possible yes dearie.
hahaha okay thats lame. nikita emoing lah shut up. but im not emo blah. :D Okay, i'm starting to think i am becoming a little whiney and saddist this whole month. This whining and negative thinking must stop. Before its too late.
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Monday, July 09, 2007
Today sucks. hahah i'll go straight to the point. I hate her i hate her i hate her. thank you ♥ oh yes. imy alot. it breaks my heart to see me this way when i know i shouldt be :l its only gonna be another 3 months. tahan nikita. tahan...
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Sunday, July 08, 2007
I'm starting to be real afraid of the future lately. It could just be my mood swings getting the best of me but i can never shake the feeling off me. I keep thinking its the end. but you're always there to asure me its not. so whats keeping these thoughts running wildly in my mind? maybe its just me. haha i dont know. i'd rather not think too much about it sigh, anyway i got myself a new phone with kak liza, abang wan, nenek & nicholas :) here's the beauty
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Friday, July 06, 2007
Have you ever had that feeling, where you see a picture with you & your friends innit then you start wondering where they've all gone? cause you've missed them dearly. & then you see a new picture of them. except this time. your not innit. Have you ever felt that way? well i am feeling that weird feeling today. It aint just me. I know a few others feel the same way too but, Oh well, thats life i suppose. they always say they'll be there no matter how much shit you'll be in cause they dont believe in the saying "friends come and friends go" but i'm starting to believe in that little phrase. Thanks for the memories you guys. but frankly speaking, its all falling apart & its sad. Real sad. I miss you guys badly.
Nikita xoxoxo
saya cinta pada kamu ♥
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Woah i've had a pretty long weekend. On Friday after school went out with sayang to get his PS2 (apparently his newest gf.. oh no.) kidding :D
He's really happy with it, I cant wait to play it too muwahahar ^_^ I'm so gonna win you lah syg. After we makan already we decided to go Bedok to Jalan-Jalan & find games for his PS2. We ended up walking around circles & eventually not getting the games since it was late & most of the shops were closed. Syg then wanted to see his old neighbourhood so we went venturing around bedok lol! :} It was nice having late night walks with him :D oh & he's simply adorable when he eats snacks like a small kid. omg he's my special little boy sia. i ♥ him
On saturday went to nick's place to watch dvd's with syikin had fun girls day in :D i miss those girls badly ♥ with school starting & prelims coming soon. things dont look too good with social life. }: so i'm saying good bye to social life ♥
On sunday went out with family. It kindda sucked in the beggining was alright at the end i guess? :/
Yesterday went out with sayang to watch transformers. wah kimak! that show is seriously nice sia :D i think it has to be the best summer movie i've watched. Its so cute to see sayang all excited for transformers.
BUMBLE BEE♥ my favourite oh & he looked H.O.T yesterday. barh. i simply melted for that silly monkey all over again. i love you sugar. after watching transformers we decided to kill time by playing pool at lucky plaza. since i've been well known to suck at pool, syg had to teach me (: hehe i think i was a lousy student but syg was a good teacher. never gave up on me hehe! Anyway i gtg now my little brother wanna use the computer hehe! <3 take care people!
