Nikita cinta Fazli (: ♥

Monday, April 23, 2007

You dont know how much i dislike you.
I wouldt exactly say i hate you cause there was a time where we had fun together
But im starting to think differently of you now.
and its dissapointing because i know there was a different girl i knew before this whole mess occured.

Your taking so many things away from me one by one and its getting harder
for me to forgive you. You think you can just be our friend for one minute get the guys in the group
to "like" you then expect to remain this way till forever? My darling girl life doest work this way.
Things are starting to unfold slowly about your life.
why lie? ok so you dont like the same music as us but yet you pretend you do why?
i dont know if you do have a band or not. neither do the guys. but seriously
its not like we're not going to be your friend just because you dont listen to the type of music
we listen to you know? We arnt that pussy.
friendship doest work that way you know? friendship is based alot on trust
but your making me lose that trust I once had in you.

I just want to say im not just going to sit here and be gullable and watch you take everything
dear to me one by one. Firstly you lied to me about my friend. you lied to me about stuff and why?
i eventually found out about most of the stuff yesterday. Secondly oh yes the famous unfinished business with
my boyfriend. okay i'm not going to elborate on that because im matured enough to think
if you wanna be "drunk" and do stuff thats your lost of repect for yourself. but seriously..
i just feel like even if your sober and sad about stuff...taking your feelings on another person
who's attached is kindda way of base. i dont blame you of corse neither do i blame my boyfriend.
i just feel like you shouldt just give in. Cause then your just protaying this image of yourself.
which you dont want people to know you as.

Another thing i hope you & him do work stuff over. cause both of you know your true feelings for each other. Yet your both hiding your ego's i'm sorry i have to say this but all these drama all these tears, the cuts, the lies its too Mtv and too Dramatic for me. I'm someone carefree. I cant stand this anymore someone is going to have to tell you sooner or later. If no one is gonna say it. Then well maybe i just should.

Overall. i dont hate you. I just hope you change and understand that life doest really evolve around you.
everyone has their fair share of problems, hatres, denials but at the end of the day the main thing is.
Give respect, take respect.

xxxo
Nikita

saya cinta pada kamu ♥

Thursday, April 19, 2007

woah its been forever since ive last blogged
anyway (: nothing much been happening lately other then last sunday
firstly i'd like to thank alex & sonny baby for surprising madee & me with the surprise
movie haha! (: we thought you boys were so sweet haha! ♥
secondly thank you madee for having the nice chat while waiting for the boys :D
i sincerly thought i was the only one who did't really like ahem. haha!
anyway after madee & alex left, syg went to surprise me yet again with
reservations for sakee sushi.
lerrr syg! *blush* your very sweet tau ke tak kental? :D
haha! i will always thank allah for letting me find you (:
my true gentlemen jackass hero lah you! (^_^)
oh & thank you for the candles smells nice lah! :D seriously smells like chocolates
huahua! ohoh & can i be a jackass and put your cute baby picture on myspace
for the world to see? :D LOL.
anyway tmr's sports carnival. haha not really looking forward to it really.
think its gonna be a real bore...hopefully the school can prove me wrong haha!
okay im gonna take a real nice nap now. bye for now ♥
OHOH & do look out for daisho discreet's gig coming soon in the month of may!
thank you! (click on picture *if link doest work go under my links in blog*)

xxxo,
Nikita

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saya cinta pada kamu ♥

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

yesterday was fun,
despite it being totally random,
i had fun i liked it hah.
im not being those typical faggots
but sincerly, i felt like it was perfect.
went to meet the gang at marina square been a while
since ive meet them all (: had fun haha!
faz was being pretty lame as usual wanting to play
the "blinking game" when he kept on sqinting his eyes in the first place
grrr urms iiki's friend came they had drinks yup2 err
what else happened arh.. ahaha! oh yeah bear, joe & sonny gambled with coins
again the ending part was so spastic. cause apparently i kissed sonny's card that made him
win the game woot. im lady luck MUWAHAHA. ((:
errr right...
anyway some pictures from tuesday's date at airport <3

saya cinta pada kamu ♥

Sunday, April 08, 2007

im feeling super stressed now adays,
and the worse part of it all is that it ist
one bit about my studies.
how long am i to hold on to this playful game?
how long will it take for me to realise its too late.
how long will i finally understand all this time that my family cares?
i dont know.
i dont know at all.
im so caught on holding on & letting go at the same time
i feel that im falling too deep into another hole.
another mistake another regrette another lie.
& each time i pick up that call
a sense of happiness fills me up inside
yet deep down inside i know its a lie.
a fucking white lie i tell myself to prevent me from
feeling weak.feeling helpless feeling nothing
& why do i even bother doing this
when at the end of the day i say i love you
but look away in shame.
they say jealousy is the root of all evil.
what they say is true.
but they forgot. i'm part of that evil too.

saya cinta pada kamu ♥

Thursday, April 05, 2007

im afraid of losing him.
i wouldt lie. im right now seriously
in love with him despite it being only for 4 months.
& when i heard that she
the girl that i recently trusted & was a listening ear
for her, was high & did stuff to you
i felt jealous. pretty jealous indeed.
she's pretty. i admit & yeah im worried of her now.
maybe i think too much, but
im going to keep my eye out for her.
your now angry with me why i dont even know why.
i usually hardly know why you usually get angry with me
but im too lazy to ask or fight today.
probably cause you thought i was going out with guys
or something when in actual fact i was out with my school mates.
seriously, how many times do you actually hear me saying im going out with my school friends.
this is like one of those rare moments. and
you probably just ignored my calls when i called you
cause you couldt be bothered who i was out with
or something..maybe thats why your angry with me. cause you probably think
im lying again. cause whenever something goes wrong.
im the liar. im the one in the wrong. im the dumb one
you have no idea how much i wanna cry my eyes out right now
& just scream into your face and ask why is it whenever we have a nice date the
next day is always shit. sigh.. nvm
profile songs for you anyway.

xxo

saya cinta pada kamu ♥